Some time after MTV's "The Newlyweds" started to fade into oblivion, I believe Jessica Simpson was confronted by the devil.
The devil said, "I will let you continue to be famous for nothing for the rest of your life, but there's one caveat. Whatever you do, how many kids with a football player you have, it will make news for about an hour before being trumped by someone infinitely more popular."
And this, my friends, is now Jessica Simpson's life.
Let's go back to 2009. Remember Jessica Simpson's fat jeans' incident? Even though the images were unflattering, this bit of coverage brought Jessica's name back in the spotlight. Yet, on that same day, a woman in California decided to have eight babies at once. Octomom!
In 2011, Jessica Simpson had been in the news about being fat again, only this time with speculation running rampant that she was pregnant. She toyed with the media over this issue for months, until finally she made the big announcement. . .on the day Kim Kardashian announced her divorce.
By the time Jessica gave birth to her first child on May 1, 2012, everyone was talking about how Kim had moved on to Kanye.
Just a few months later, on Christmas Day, Jessica gave it another go, announcing that she was pregnant with her second child! Then, just a few days after that, Kanye West announced at a concert that Kim Kardashian was having his baby. Naturally, Jessica's pregnancy was overshadowed by Kim's, so everyone was paying attention to Kimye, not Jeric.
Finally, this past week, Jessica Simpson got married, with People magazine covering the big day. This was more than a month after Kim and Kanye got married, so clearly the bride-to-be knew what she was doing when she planned these nuptials. No one was going to steal the spotlight from her.
And then shit broke loose this past Wednesday that Eva Mendes and Ryan Gosling may have produced the most beautiful baby of all time.
The moral of this story is that you should never sell your soul to the devil, even if it will get you 15 minutes of fame every so often.