Previously, on the 50 Shades of Grey podcast, Ana was invited into Christian Grey's mansion, and Joey and I decided that we were going to add booze to the podcast, since the plot often feels like it's treading through maple syrup.
So we added some pinot grigio to the mix.
Here's Chapter 7 and here's Chapter 8. Suffice it to say, we finally get a taste of what Christian Grey is capable of, and still, what Ana is not capable of (breathing is difficult).
After yesterday's Mikal Cronin post, I want all of the readers who think I'm a hipster to know this: I am a huge Mariah Carey fan.
So much so, that I can tell you exactly when, during the "Hero" video, a gentleman dressed like a referee shakes his head in utter disbelief at how awesome Mariah Carey is (it's the 3:12 to 3:15 mark).
I still own the Mariah Carey MTV Unplugged VHS, and will take it to my grave, though its cover is surprisingly in excellent condition.
In recent years, I haven't been as huge of a fan of Mariah, given that she's gone from pop to more R&B. But her latest single, "#Beautiful" is kind of a throwback to the old-school Mariah Carey I knew and loved. The background even has a bit of a girl band feel to it, the way it sways to a snap with the rhythm.
Now do you think Mariah titled this song with a hashtag so that it's easily searchable on social media networks? If so, Mimi's pretty savvy. The song's soaring up the charts, prepared to be a big hit on radios this summer.
There's a debate in the YouTube comments section of Mikal Cronin's song, "Weight" as to whether the song is hipster nonsense, something I struggle with when it comes to music these days. Years ago, liking Mikal Cronin would be just "cool." No problems with it. Now, this type of music is synonymous with something you'd hear at either a microbrewery or Urban Outfitters.
I'm not coming out as a hipster, but I will say that I rather enjoy Cronin's album MCII, and that it reminds me of the Beach Boys Pet Sounds. Would a hipster say that? Or just someone who likes music? Because I also listen to 2 Chainz if that helps.
We're finally getting somewhere in Chapters 5 and 6 of reading E.L. James' 50 Shades of Grey. Access the podcast here. Anastasia is learning about male thunder down under, and Joey at MovieMoJoe and I are learning that James leaves no mundane detail behind (please tell us more about your hair, Ana!).
But is it wrong to be attracted to Christian Grey even if he's kinda scary? Is it also wrong that we can't stop thinking of ways for Anastasia to die?
Finally, is it wrong that Joey got distracted and took this picture of a blimp while we were reading?
This past Saturday night, I got to see "RuPaul's Drag Race" season 4 winner Sharon Needles perform at The Voyeur in Philadelphia.
The often controversial drag queen performed songs from her album PG-13, including "This Club is a Haunted House,""Dead Girls Never Say No," and "Drink Til I Die." While one would expect Sharon to perform the entire album, she only ended up performing about seven songs total, including a Rocky Horror Picture Show song (can you guess which one? Obvi, right). I was disappointed that I didn't get to hear "Dressed to Kill" or that the sequiny adornment hanging from the ceiling wasn't appropriately used for "Disco Ball." And unfortunately, there was no "Kai Kai."
But Lord Satan, were there costume changes. In between songs, Ms. Needles would change behind a curtain, talking faux smack talk about everyone in the audience as if her microphone were left on, which was kind of enjoyable considering that some of the audience members thought she was her other half, Alaska Thunder f***. Sharon even acknowledged this mistaken identity on stage.
Of course, she also acknowledged that Alaska wasn't there that night, citing that the Season 5 runner-up was in Cleveland---she then proceeded to make a joke about Ariel Castro and then the Boston Marathon bombings ("She said Boston was a blast"). Not even Ru herself would dare touch these jokes, which just goes to show Sharon is not a chip off the old block.
Girlfriend also relished making fun of Season 5 winner Jinkx Monsoon, saying, "Water off a bat's back" instead of Jinkx's mantra, "Water off a duck's back." No Roxxxy cracks, though---however, Phi Phi O'Hara also was the punchline to a few jokes, which I think everyone enjoyed.
There's something that really works about Sharon's horror glam. You can't take your eyes off her. She brings about the same sensation as a roller coaster ride: both terrifying and fun.
There are two things to make note of while watching the trailer for the film Tiger Eyes. One, Amy Jo Johnson---yes, the Pink Power Ranger---is in this film. Two, this is the first Judy Blume book to be adapted into a movie.
Seriously. This seems crazy to me. Judy Blume---mother of all books about adolescence---doesn't have a movie adaptation. And she gets the messy stuff right, too, addressing sex, puberty, and anything the Hardy Boys weren't looking for.
Tiger Eyes is actually directed by Judy's son, so there's a personal element to the film, which tells the tale of a teenager coping with her father's murder---dark stuff.
But why is this the first Judy Blume movie? How in the hell has Are You There God? It's Me, Margaret not been adapted! Young women learning about menstruation is timeless. Everyone from Winona Ryder to Abigail Breslin could have played the titular Margaret.
Or what about Summer Sisters? A novel that explores the friendship between two teenagers into adulthood---one wild/one mild---who spend every summer together.
And of course there are countless other classics like Tales of a Fourth Grade Nothing, Deenie, and Forever---all of which would make great movies. You really Double fudged it up, Hollywood!
Although maybe it's kind of great that Judy Blume's books haven't been made into movies. They can preserved the way they were intended to be enjoyed, instead of a watered-down version of what Blume had in mind. However, it still seems crazy to me that there are five movies about vampire teenagers and none about a Judy Blume character.
Confession: If I were in the music business, I would want to be in a girl group like The Shirelles. And I wouldn't have to be the lead singer, either. I would just be happy to be able to do the cutesy dance moves and harmonies.
Because of this fantasy, I'm especially excited for the new documentary Twenty Feet From Stardom, a film highlighting both the plight and triumph of female background singers like Darlene Love and, my personal favorite, Merry Clayton, who sings backup on Rolling Stones' "Gimme Shelter."
It's about time these ladies get the spotlight. Without them, our favorite rock and pop songs wouldn't be the same.
After this past week's episode of "Game of Thrones," where Jaime Lannister saved Brienne from a death pit that featured a bear, I took one look at a filthy-but-hot twin/lover of Cersai, and thought, "I wonder how he smells."
That's usually what I think about when I'm watching GoT---which makes me get distracted and not know what's going on. I also think about characters' scents on AMC's "The Walking Dead," since it doesn't look like they get to shower very often.
So here's my question: Which group of characters would you imagine smells worse?
A case for "The Walking Dead":
One, they're traveling through Georgia, which means it can get hotter than hell. Two, when those zombies get killed, the blood that splatters has to be toxic and disgusting. So body odor times bodily fluids means a rank post-apocalypse. At least they can loot some old convenience stories for sanitary items, right? And for God's sake, would Carl take off that damn hat already? I feel like it could be peeled off of him at this point.
A case for "Game of Thrones":
Well, I'm pretty sure deodorant doesn't even exist in George R. R. Martin's universe, so that's strike one. Two, they all wear incredibly heavy clothes, and since winter looms in the near future, it's still summer, so they're wearing layers in hot weather. That makes about as much sense as having sex with a Wildling ("You know nothing, Jon Snow!"). Arya alone looks like she needs a good scrubbing. I imagine her to smell like a foot.
Hmmm. Off hand, if I had to choose who I would think smelled worse, I'd say "The Walking Dead," simply based on the sweat factor. In every episode, Rick typically looks rapper LV in the "Gangster's Paradise" video. I don't know how Glenn and Maggie get it on without vomiting on each other.
What are your thoughts? And does this distract you from your TV watching, too?
On May 26, I fully intend to do NOTHING but watch "Arrested Development" when season 4 premieres on Netflix, and I'm not ashamed to say this.
It has been my absolute favorite show since it premiered back in 2003, and seeing this trailer, and laughing out loud throughout it, just reminds me of how much I've missed the Bluths as if they were my own dysfunctional family (although doesn't everyone have a Buster?).
I must say, doesn't everyone look splendid? Maeby is still adorable, even if she is a grownup now. Lindsey looks great with short hair! It's good to see Gob is still up to his old tricks.
Forget Iron Man 3---this is my summer blockbuster.
Over the weekend, The Great Gatsby wasn't great enough to get number one at the box office, but it did manage to pool in enough numbers for number two (for those of you who haven't seen the movie or cracked a book in 8th grade, pool refers to Gatsby's demise---I was trying to be clever, and it failed).
But fear not: "Leomania" circa 1998 is back and more ridiculous than ever, with this discovery at my local Barnes & Noble.
I'm sorry, but just how many issues does this magazine expect to run? There are only so many articles you can do on Martin Scorsese, dating hot models, and friendship with Tobey Maguire. And based on the article plugs on the front cover, the rag seems pretty generic. They should really employ Cosmo tactics: "10 Ways to Please Your Man in Bed. . .As If He Were Leo!"
I feel bad for the poor English or journalism major who finally got his or her big break working for this publication. If this mag is anything like most of Leo's characters in his movies, it probably won't survive. Although please stop me 10 years from now if people are saying, "Did you read the latest DiCaprio?"
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